Effective Communication

I observed the interactions between my mother and my two nieces at my home.  The children were given an option of hot dogs and spaghetti or chicken nuggets and angel hair noodles. They both choose hot dogs and spaghetti. The girls had seen an adult eating ice cream and wanted ice cream. In response, they were told that they could have ice cream when they finished their lunch. The younger girl didn’t want to eat and asked for ice cream for a second time. My mom calmly told her that she had to eat her food to get ice cream. Meanwhile, the other older girl ate her food and received ice cream. When the first little girl saw that her sister had ice cream, she got upset and demanded that she be given ice cream. My mom asked “What she have you eaten?” The younger girl began to tantrum. My mom patiently said for a second time that she had to eat her food to get ice cream. The young child was upset but she ate  her food and she was also given ice cream.

 

                                                               VS. Ice Cream

In this observation I learned that children will try to battle with an adult to get what they want. My niece was refusing to eat because she wanted ice cream. She has to be reminded twice that dessert goes after meals. My mom also maintained an atmosphere of equality and fairness between the two girls. She allowed both girls to express what they wanted for lunch. She said that they could have ice cream when they finished their lunch. My mom followed through with her promise of ice cream to the girls when they ate their food. She remained pleasant throughout the entire process and consistently expected the child to comply with the her directive. In this week’s resources, I read the article called Conversations with a Two year old. Stephenson (2009) states "Children had to make choices" (Stephenson, 2009).  The author discusses  making a chart of likes and dislikes with children.  I think that my mom's strategy of communication was very effective in getting my niece to eat her food after observing an adult consuming ice cream. She offered them ice cream but after they ate their lunch. The children were given the choice of hot dogs and spaghetti or chicken nuggets and angel hair noodles. These were the only options at that time to pick from. One of the things that could have helped the younger child is to make a food chart for her that has pictures of food that she likes and dislikes. Visually showing the child the chart.

I think that requiring that both girls follow a consistent directive made both children feel that they were equal. They understood that they had to eat their food before they received ice cream. My mom did not engage in battling or compromising behavior. It would have been unfair to give one child ice cream for not listening and to make the other child eat to receive ice cream. They were both expected to eat before getting ice cream and it kept them on a even playing field. There was no miscommunication and the children know what they had to do to get what they desired. My mom gave both of them ice cream when they did what they were asked. The child controlled when they got the ice cream.

I have just begun working as an Behavior Specialist Consultant/Mobile Therapist. I am still learning a lot about children and their different family dynamics. In most of my families, I have noticed that their tends to be a lack of communication between family members. For example, I was working with a family that didn't express their emotions in an appropriate manner. The child did not feel comfortable communicating her feelings which lead her to feel misunderstood and act out. I set up a family meeting for the child and her family. They respectfully spoke about both negative and positive situations that were present in the home environment. without the family meeting, the parents would have never known how their child perceived life nor how she felt she fit into the family. I usually observe a child's non-verbal and verbal communication first. Then, piece together how their verbal and non-verbal communication is linked. Encourage the child and/or parent to mutually express themselves to one another. I could work on setting art therapy sessions that can be used to interpret a child's inner most feelings.   

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Resources:

Stephenson, A. (2009). Conversations with a 2-year-old. YC: Young Children, 64(2), 90-95. Retrieved from the Walden Library using the Education Research Complete database. http://ezp.waldenulibrary.org/login?url=http://search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=ehh&AN=37131016&site=ehost-live&scope=site